Since being out of the Military, nothing has made much sense and it’s getting noticeably worse every single year. It seems that the level of purpose and fulfillment we Veterans crave to achieve has become elusive or impossible, and no longer feels attainable. For us, nothing can compare to the magnitude of being a soldier in a combat zone. The military allowed us to tap into a facet of ourselves and gain a distinct level of perspective, rendering everything else painfully underwhelming and unrelatable. This decade long search to regain meaning and clarity in civilian life is slowly driving out my sanity and replacing it with emptiness, anxiousness, and frustration. Letting weeks, months, YEARS pass, feeling like I’ve already lived an entire lifetime. Unable to see the point of anything, unable to rationalize why I survived and my friends did not, unable to reinstate the peace and normalcy that I expected upon returning from war. This is REAL for us, and I refuse to hide and believe I’m alone in this struggle any longer. It has truly been A Vicious Cycle.
This being said, I would like to formally announce that I’ve made a rather ambitious decision to Cycle over 4,000 miles across America, from Virginia Beach to San Francisco. Literally from sea to shining sea. I want to experience the land that I love, the country we fought for and swore to defend, in a way that will be both gratifying and GRUELING. I want to HONOR my fallen Brothers and Sisters who gave their LIVES for us. I want to inspire and UNITE other Veterans who feel alone and at war with themselves like I do. And I need to PROVE to myself that I not only WANT to be here, but DESERVE to be here…
I only have a month to train myself and I am grabbing this bull by the horns. There are over 100 towns along the way and I will make an effort to connect with other Veterans in as many of them as I can. It’s time to stop beating myself up and start doing big things that matter. The most beautiful part to me – is that I already know you all have my back. I have the most wonderful, loving people in my life and I want to make you all PROUD. Especially my fellow Veterans.
I’m hand making custom paracord bracelets to help raise money for my journey and they’re actually pretty freaking cool, too.
Purchase yours on the Support AVC page!